Making an adoption plan today is very different from what it was only a few decades ago. Before, an expectant mother or birth mother had little say in who adopted her baby or where they went.
There was no communication between the birth mother and the adoptive couple. Without contact, the birth mother worried whether her child was loved and cared for. The adoptee wondered about their identity and heritage.
Today’s adoption process is very different. Now, an expectant woman or birth mother selects the couple she wants to raise her child. Additionally, she can choose the amount and type of contact she wishes to have with the adoptive family. Let’s take a closer look at a semi-open adoption.
The Two Most Popular Adoption Plans Today
Today, 90-95% of adoptions are either open or semi-open. Both of these adoption plans provide the opportunity to communicate with one another. With an open adoption, the birth mother and adoptive couple communicate with one another directly.
A semi-open adoption (also known as a “mediated adoption”) allows both parties to communicate, but all communication passes first through a third party, such as your adoption coordinator. A semi-open plan provides more privacy but does have certain limitations.
The Pros of a Semi-Open Adoption
Placing your child for adoption is never a one-time decision. It’s a lifetime choice that impacts everyone. A birth mother can experience grief, sadness, and guilt, but she can also feel tremendously proud as she puts the welfare of her child first.
Here are some of the pros of choosing a semi-open adoption:
- Privacy. For birth families and adoptive families to feel comfortable with one another, trust must be built. Since you do not share identifying information with a semi-open adoption, you feel a greater sense of protection.
- Peace of Mind. Despite not having direct contact, you learn about your child through letters, photos, cards, and emails. Although your adoption coordinator passes these along, you’ll still have a sense of the love and care your child is receiving.
- Control. If your adoption is semi-open, you may be able to move to an open adoption once everyone becomes comfortable.
The adoption specialist you work with must provide ongoing counseling and support once the adoption is finalized. You will also want to join birth mother support groups to build relationships with other mothers who have chosen adoption.
The Cons of a Semi-Open Adoption
Here are some of the cons of choosing a semi-open adoption:
- Delayed Healing. Those initial weeks, months, and years are difficult. You may question your decision or worry about how your child is doing. Since you do not have direct contact with the adoptive family, your information about your child can be limited.
- Loss of Relationship. It’s vital for you and your child to feel connected and aware of one another. Without open communication, you have little opportunity to explain your family’s heritage, health concerns, lifestyle, and traditions.
- Sense of Secrecy. As your child grows, they may wonder why they must communicate through a third party. They might ask if you’re afraid to have a relationship with them or if you don’t want to have a relationship.
How A Loving Option Adoption Can Assist You
Adoption can be a difficult choice. A birth mother wants to know her child is safe and loved, but often, she feels very vulnerable and needs privacy. Setting safe and loving boundaries is essential for healing and building solid relationships.
Your dedicated birth parent specialist at A Loving Option Adoption will explain the adoption process in full and help you develop the plan you are most comfortable with. Once you are matched with an adoptive couple and before you sign legal papers, we’ll help you draft a communication agreement outlining your wishes for contact.
If you want to know more about placing your child for adoption, please fill out our online contact form or call or text us at 865-684-1894. If you need immediate assistance, please call or text our 24/7 helpline at 865-340-1667. How can we help you today?